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Beyond The Fourth Wall/Transcript
Abridged Episode #47 Watch ← Previous Episode Next Episode → Cast (In order of appearance):Yami, Kaiba, Mokuba, Melvin, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Duke Devlin, Hans, Gruber, Téa, Noah, Serenity, Gansley, Crump, Nesbitt, Johnson, Lector, Meowth, Jaden. Date: March 25, 2010 Running Time: 9:59 Episode Title: Beyond The Fourth Wall Transcript YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged: It's just about the only show Nick Simmons didn't plagiarize. The KC blimp is heading towards Kaiba-Corp Island KAIBA: There it is. The Kaiba-Corp Duel Tower. The only structure large enough to hold my ego without collapsing. This is the last place I ever thought I'd be coming back to. And yet, here I am. MOKUBA: What's wrong, Seto? KAIBA: Oh nothing. I was just thinking about my evil bastard of a father who adopted me so he could put me through hell and treat me like his own personal slave only to spurn my affection at every opportunity. MOKUBA: Oh yeah...that guy. KAIBA: You know Mokuba, being the cliché emotionally-void antagonist, I very rarely feel true joy. But it makes me positively ecstatic to know that he's dead. I may even do a twirl later once all this is over...and when nobody is looking. MOKUBA: It sure is good to know that our father could never come back from the grave to try and ruin our lives through some highly improbable means. KAIBA: You said it, Mokuba! Now patch me through to the crew. I feel like rubbing my wealth in someone's face. MOKUBA: I am SO glad he said "wealth". (Melvin on deck of blimp) MELVIN: RAHAHAHAHAHA! You won't be rubbing anything in MY face Kaiba, because unbeknownst to you, both your tournament and your series have been canceled! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Hello world! It's time to give Uncle Melvin a hug. (Title sequence: Yu-Gi-Oh: the cancelled series) YUGI: Well, it's time for my weekly staring contest with the Millennium Puzzle! And while I may have lost the previous 68 rounds, today I'm feeling lucky. (blimp begins to shake) What the- Oh no! Is it 2012 already? JOEY: Daeeeee! What the yiff is goin' on?! I think we hit an iceberg or something. I knew we should have made a sacrifice to Poseidon before we left! TRISTAN: Mmm...Joey's sister. DUKE: Duke Devlin puts the "wet" into wet dreams. JOEY: Stop it, you guys! You're making Poseidon angry with your sex dreams! Daeeeeeeeee! (Joey falls onto Tristan and Duke's bed) Yaoi! DUKE: Oh, waking up next to a blonde and a brunette. It's just another morning for Duke Devlin. (Back on the bridge) KAIBA: Report! HANS: Our navigation systems are offline! Ve are changing trajectory at an alarming rate! KAIBA: Did you try pressing random buttons? HANS: Sir, it is highly unlikely that zis vould- KAIBA: Well do it anyway! HANS: Ja, Herr Kaiba. TEA: Yugi, what's that thing?! KAIBA: That's Phallic Symbol Island. Many years ago, Kaiba-Corp was a company that designed military equipment. Weapons, vehicles, you name it. But then I took over and we started selling far more useful things. Like trading cards and holographic monster projecters! This island was my father's base of operations. YUGI: I had no idea Kaiba hated his own father so much. Perhaps he and I aren't so different after all. KAIBA: Are you sympathizing with me? YUGI: Well yeah I mean- KAIBA: Well stop doing that! I hate it! COMPUTER: WARNING! COLLISION WITH OCEAN IMMINENT! I HOPE YOU'VE PLAYED BIO-SHOCK. KAIBA: Well, this...just...bites... (Blimp crashes into the ocean) KAIBA: Apparently, I'm fine. (Blimp recovers from the crash) JOEY: Oh, is that all you got, Poseidon? You got nothing, man! Nothing! MOKUBA: Whoa! Guys check out the view screen! (Noah appears on the view screen) NOAH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Welcome. KAIBA: Who are you and why do you look like me back in Season 0? TRISTAN: OOOOOOH! The Forbidden Season! NOAH: All your questions will be answered in due course. In the meantime, prepare to be assimilated! Resistance is futile! [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Outer_Limits_%281963_TV_series%29 Do not attempt to adjust your television for I am controlling the horizontal AND the vertical.] Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain for he- KAIBA: Hey, uh, question. Are you just going to paraphrase old movies and TV shows at us or are you actually going to DO something? NOAH: Your mother. KAIBA: Hmph. Wonder who that was. MOKUBA: Seto! We appear to be locked on course for the giant ocean fortress directly beneath us! YUGI: That's weird. I don't remember any of this happening in the manga. SERENITY: Joey, I'm scared! JOEY: Nyeh, don't worry Serenity. If we were gonna die, they've had killed us by now. SERENITY: Who said anything about dying? I'm scared they'll write me out of the show. I mean, what purpose does my character even serve at this point? JOEY: Uh, well, Your uh, your em, uh, uh, uh- SERENITY: You don't even know, do you? JOEY: Gimme a few minutes here, I'll think of something. (Blimp descends into the fortress) JOEY: Uh, uh, eh, uh, eh, yeah, that is just saying err, AW DANG IT! (Noah appears on a screen) NOAH: OK, people, time to disembark. Look lively or I'll have to get deadly. (Guns come out of the wall) KAIBA: Get real! what are those? Guns that shoot magical bullets that send us to the shadow realm? JOEY: Yeah, knowing 4kids, they probably shoot harmless rubber bullets that don't even- (Guns start firing) NOAH: Oops, my finger must have slipped. Disobey me again and it won't be an accident. YUGI: We'll do anything you want! Just don't kill me! Or possibly Tea. NOAH: Make yourselves at home, gentlemen. HAHAHAHA! HANS AND GRUBER: Herr Kaiba! Can ve come vith you? KAIBA: I don't see why not. NOAH: No! They have to stay here. TRISTAN: But why?! NOAH: Because they're not duelists! HANS AND GRUBER: Yes ve are! Ve play Ze game all Ze time. DUKE DEVLIN: And I only play Dungeon Dice Monsters. NOAH: Well, that's basically the same as Duel Monsters. DUKE DEVLIN: Why does everybody say that? JOEY: Serenity! I just realized why you're still in the show! So that Duke and Tristan have a reason to be here. SERENITY: (Sarcastically) Oh good, now I feel so much better about myself. (Walking down the corridor) TRISTAN: And then the talent agent says: "What's the name of this act?" And then the father says: "The Aristocrats!" ...Why isn't anybody laughing? YUGI: Hey Tristan, remember back in season 1 when you were still funny? (Bright flash, The Big 5 appear) KAIBA: Ahhh! What the hell? ???: Prepare for trouble! ???: And make it double! GANSLEY: To protect the world from Japanimation! CRUMP: To overthrow the Kaiba corporation! NESBITT: To denounce the meaning of the original dub! GANSLEY: To extend all reach to the world above! JOEY: Hey, it's those mooks from season 1 who tried to kill us in the virtual world. KAIBA: The Big 5! THE BIG 5: Team 4kids blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight! MEOWTH: Meowth! That's right! KAIBA: You guys tried to take over my company. First by allying yourself with Pegasus, and then by trapping me in a video-game of my own design. You know what they say- fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you're going to get curb-stomped by Seto Kaiba! GANSLEY: Thanks to you fools, our minds have been trapped inside cyberspace. But since then, 4kids took pity on us. They gave us new voices! TRISTAN: Your voices changed?! That's impossible! GANSLEY: They also gave us a new job. Eliminating all of you! KAIBA: Yeah...I don't think so. I'll beat you all single-handedly and then return to running my tournament faster than you can say "K, thanks." GANSLEY: You still don't get it, do you? JOHNSON: There is no tournament. Your series has been canceled. KAIBA: What? JOEY: What? YUGI: What the f**k?! GANSLEY: It's true! 4kids finally saw fit to pull the plug. From now on, if children want to watch animé on American television, they'll have to make do with reruns of Avatar: The last Airbender! KAIBA: Avatar isn't animé. GANSLEY: It might as well be. KAIBA: You guys are a bunch of senile deluded old men who think they know better than everybody else. No wonder you fit into 4kids. GANSLEY: We'll see how long you keep that attitude of yours when we defeat you and take control of your bodies! THE BIG 5: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Virtual holes open underneath them) JOEY: Well, I don't see what's so- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! SERENITY: Joey! TEA: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! SERENITY: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YUGI: Tea! Serenity! TRISTAN AND DUKE: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YUGI: Awww, that's cute. Duke and Tristan got their own little hole. MOKUBA: Seto! I wanna ride the hole with you! KAIBA: Wait, no, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YUGI: Kaiba! Ok, look, uh, hold on, uh, lets just talk about this, ok? Uh, to tell the truth, I've always kinda liked 4kids. That whole One Piece fiasco, heh, water under the bridge, so uh, how about we just talk about this and maybe we can come to some sort of- Oh who am I kidding? I can't do it- 4KIDS SUCKS!!! (at Noah's lair) NOAH: So as you can see, we're far too busy with other projects to even consider going back and dubbing Season 4. Please accept my apologies. JADEN: Awww, dizz-aaam! But we still gonn' do the movie, right? NOAH: I'll think about it, uh- hold on, I'm getting another call. JADEN: Ight, catch ya on the flippity-flip, N-dawg. NOAH: Yes, yes, yes- What is it, Nesbitt? NESBITT: Master Noah, I have terrible news. 4kids were just delisted from the New York Stock Exchange! NOAH: A trivial concern. So long as we still own the rights to Pokémon, we'll be just fine. NESBITT: Um, yeah, about that... We don't have those anymore. NOAH: Really? When did this happen? NESBITT: Several years ago, Master Noah. NOAH: Why didn't anyone tell me?! Oh well, at least we still have One Piece. NESBITT: AHEM, Yes, a-about that... pause NOAH: Who the f**k is Funimation?! Ending: Star Wars Gangsta Rap Theme plays SUBTITLE: least we lasted longer than firefly (Stinger) TEA: I was frozen today! (Back at the blimp) MELVIN: 98, 99, 100! Ready or not, here I come! ...to murder you! Wait, where the f**k is everybody? Hello? Aww, come on! I've been planning my vengeance for the past 10 years and they all just walk away?! Well so much for that. What am I suppose to do now? Hmm...I wonder if those two German guys are still around... HANS: Nein! Ve are not on Ze blimp! MELVIN: Hello there! I mean, uh- Guten Tag! I don't suppose you'd be able to tell me what the german for "hug" is, would you? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HANS AND GRUBER: Ahhh! (inaudible German words) Kuscheln!! References * The Big 5 parodies Team Rocket's motto from Pokémon. * The sounds heard when Noah appears on screen are the arwing's radio communication sounds from Star Fox 64. * Tea's line at the end is taken from Christopher Lloyd from the movie Suburban Commando which has become an internet meme. Category:Abridged Transcripts